"I am a big supporter of great ideas never being implemented."

Things that happen when I call my boss to ask a serious question.

"And if you have access to a lathe, you could make a cross-shaped manger."

From a show within a show.

I believe it was on "The Simpsons" (1989-present) they had a sort of "Sesame Street" parody.  And at its conclusion they gave the following credit:

"[showing this symbol: ü] This episode is brought to you by the symbol umlaut [then showing this: e] and the number e. Not the letter, but the number e, whose exponential function is the derivative of itself."

Colbert, responding to a clip of Biden crediting "Will and Grace" (1998-2006) with educating the American public on gay issues:

"These shows can change our minds.  Until I saw the show Frasier I refused to accept the existence of Seattle."

(08/05)

A pre-show headline:

The New York Yankees have their own cologne.  It's made from the most expensive components of all competing colognes.

(30/04)

Colbert, making a point about how news sources can't agree:

"If Fox News says water is a liquid, The New York Times says hydrogen is a gas and oxygen is openly gay."

[29]/04

To his guest, James Cameron:

"Have you thought about a sequel where Rose fights the ocean for [Jack's] body?"

(12/04)