"The bird poop worked."
-- A customer after finding he'd won $10 on the scratch ticket he bought because he figured a bird pooping through his sunroof yesterday should be lucky.

"Hate mushrooms.. They make me sick. They're like slugs in diguise ...They're trying to take over the world."

Overheard in Public

(A little miffed after friends mobbed him over a new haircut, dead serious): "I showed up here a month ago in clean underwear and no one noticed."

"Did you want to sleep more? 'Cause...you just used a duck as a pillow."

(with complete sincerity) "You missed out: For three days I had a bar stool here. It was wonderful."

On helmet hair.

"Whereas if I were to [wear a bike helmet] I would look like a chimp. (brighter) A champ! (cosnidering more carefully) Or a chump. [beat] Chimp, champ chump. (recognizing a pattern) Chomp!! (philosophically) Why isn't there a 'chemp'?"

(07/05)

Not much to say about this except that these things were yelled out during a game of Guesstures (a glorified Charades):

"Food closet!"
(this came after "fridge", "cupboard", "pantry", "freezer", etc.)

"Timble tack!"
(they meant some kinda cross between thumb tack and thimble, I think)


(18/04)