"What would be your best Secret Santa gift, if you could have anything?"
"[For] fifteen dollars? .... A dollar-a-minute hug."
Watching Kevin McAllister pour kerosene into a toilet bowl: "See? THIS is why we shouldn't have been allowed to watch this as kids, not because he disrespects his parents for five minutes at the beginning of the movie. He's a ten-year-old who sets adults on fire."
15/12
12 December 2011
"If I learned Swedish it would open a whole world of puns to me."
12/12
02 December 2011
"The only other good advice my dad gave me was, 'don't take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time'."
