From a show I can't watch.

"It's the new fragrance I designed.  It's called 'Desire' but with a Z instead of the second E."  [Shows label which reads 'DESIRZ'.]

"What's it supposed to smell like?"

"All my favorite things!  The Knicks, a mop from a strip club, a carefree hobo, a crate with a new giraffe in it and broccoli!"

(S.6 E.16 "Nothing Left to Lose" 30 Rock)

From "The Office" (2005-present), a wonderful short-term character played by Catherine Tate:

"'Take their job but don't take their balls.'  Margaret Thatcher said that.  Probably.  Don't know.  Don't read.  Didn't see the movie."

--Nellie Bertram
(S8.E.21 "Angry Andy")

It's almost like Colbmutiny.

Jon Stewart's imitative rhetoric of a man who claims to eat a lot: "I throw down like a horse with a tapeworm."

18/04/12

"Compared to beards, FIRE is new."

10/04

First of what I hope are many Jon Stewart quotes.

"That is the mistake I've made in my acting career: I've had my films released."

26/01

"What would be your best Secret Santa gift, if you could have anything?"

"[For] fifteen dollars? .... A dollar-a-minute hug."

Watching Kevin McAllister pour kerosene into a toilet bowl: "See? THIS is why we shouldn't have been allowed to watch this as kids, not because he disrespects his parents for five minutes at the beginning of the movie. He's a ten-year-old who sets adults on fire."

15/12