Colbert, responding to a clip of Biden crediting "Will and Grace" (1998-2006) with educating the American public on gay issues:

"These shows can change our minds.  Until I saw the show Frasier I refused to accept the existence of Seattle."

(08/05)

A pre-show headline:

The New York Yankees have their own cologne.  It's made from the most expensive components of all competing colognes.

(30/04)

Colbert, making a point about how news sources can't agree:

"If Fox News says water is a liquid, The New York Times says hydrogen is a gas and oxygen is openly gay."

[29]/04

To his guest, James Cameron:

"Have you thought about a sequel where Rose fights the ocean for [Jack's] body?"

(12/04)